Thoughts of an ‘old’ girl.


Haven’t posted in a while. Someone just reminded me on twitter that I have a blog. *sigh* I’m sorry. I’ve been so caught up in school stuff that I haven’t had time to even go on twitter as much.

So… Wasup?

Some of you may already know this but for those that don’t know I’ll make the announcement. I’m finally 21. Yaaay! *bored voice*

I’m so OLD now… It’s terrible. I’ve grown more in the past couple of years than in my first 19 years.
I’ve grown up, and I’ve realized things about myself that I didn’t know before. I’ve learnt things about people and about human nature and about Life. And about everything, and about nothing.

I learnt how to smile in the last couple of years. Before, it came so naturally and unconsciously, like breathing, but now I know how to make myself smile.

I’ve learned that my parents will always be there. No matter how much I fuck up or how many times I mess up. Family is important.

That a hug means more than I ever imagined… When used as a tool/weapon. When refused…. When given…. As an incentive…. As a reward……

That I will probably never learn to read an analog clock. I’ve accepted my fate and in the future I will be investing in digital watches.

I’ve learned that when you surround yourself with the right people, when you make the right networks and connections, it pays off. That people can be amazing. Friends will carry you when you can’t walk. That laughing with friends feels so much better than laughing alone.

*sigh*

Sadly, I’ve also learned that the same people that are capable of great acts of kindness are also capable of the darkest evil. That human beings are a strange species. That you cannot predict people. You may think you know them but they will surprise you.

That boys boys never be family.

I’ve learned soo much in the past couple of years. I think the 20’s are the age to think. To second-guess yourself. I over think these days. I analyze people’s actions and reactions. I think too much.

I feel old.

I’m sorry if I sound depressing. In fact, no. I’m not sorry.
But life is hard when you’re 21. I thought life was hard as a teenager but I didn’t know how good i had it. I wish I was 16 again. I wish I could undo some shit I’ve done in my life. I wish I could do some shit I was too scared to do when I was younger. I wish I could redo some crazy fun stuff. I wish I could reset the clock.

If you’re 24 or older tell me, how did you do it??
And if you’re 16 or 18 enjoy it. Do crazy stuff you can regret when you’re older.

Rowie.

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9 thoughts on “Thoughts of an ‘old’ girl.

  1. 17andbeyond says:

    I’m 17 about to turn 18, and I’m thinking life is hard already lol. Love your blog and this post.
    I also blog at fallingofftherye.wordpress.com
    Please check it out. thank you:)

  2. Selasi Ahema Tsegah (@surabbie) says:

    Lol! This sums up how i felt at that time and kinda how i feel now. I think it gets better, you learn to depend more on your actions than on others cos that’s the only thing you can control. I definitely learnt to hope for the best and expect the worst from everyone. “Boys, boys never be family” – truest truth.
    But God dey so i go be! πŸ™‚

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