fear.


“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brillant, talented, fabulous?”  Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in ALL of us.  As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”–Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love (made famous by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural Address)

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

i think the above is a lie. i don’t care who said it or who has endorsed it.

i fear myself. i fear my potential. it scares me but not that i am too good, it scares me that i may not be as good as i want to be or as good as people want me to be. it scares me sometimes, that I’ll disappoint my heart. that I’ll fail my dreams. I run away from competition. literally. i don’t want to be put against the light. i don’t want to be measured against the standard. what if I’m too short? or too slow? or too fast? or too tall? what if I’m not right? and I’d rather not ask the questions, I’d rather remain in the dark about some of these things than put them out there and find that I’m lacking.

it’s like when there’s a glass vase sitting in the darkness, it’s perfect. because you can’t see any flaws. and you can laud it and praise it’s beauty but when you bring it into the light, you realize there is a crack on the bottom. wouldn’t you rather push it back into the darkness so it’s still perfect? why would you want to bring it out into the light?

i think i may fear myself. is that normal?

I’m terribly scared of what i may or may not turn out to be….

maybe, it’s holding me back but i may never really know…

Rowie

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2 thoughts on “fear.

  1. TJ says:

    “Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”
    My take? Everything you’ve said is in itself a reflection of the above statement.
    The “What if”s, very necessary.
    But why “what if” to the half empty bottle? (pessimist)
    Why not “what if” to the half filled bottle (optimist)
    Yes, sometimes, when you face the challenge (sunlight on the vase) there may be some exposed ‘faults’.
    But it’s never always bad.
    The fulfillment from facing and conquering far surpasses the feeling of failure.
    But then again, ‘I may never really know…’

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