Mood swings and Emotional see-saws

I had a convo with someone earlier today (or yesterday actually)  and later I was kind of musing on twitter about this. I won’t call it a rant ‘cos I wasn’t just telling everybody what I thought, I really wanted answers and I wasn’t getting them. So maybe you guys can help…

What I want to know is, do you feel like a person should be only one kind of person? Quiet or loud, shy or confident, scared or brave? That a person cannot be both?

I’m melancholic see. (If you don’t know what melancholic means please click THIS link to read about the temperaments. Please it won’t take long, just brief yourself before I go on). So I’m melancholic, and that means, I have mood swings. I’m excited and happy one minute and then in the next second, I’m down in the dumps, as they say. Over the years, I’ve learned to sort of control it in a way that I’m always happy around people. It helps that I’m also strongly sanguine (again, just click that link) and so it’s not really difficult but sometimes it is.

I’ve realized that my friends can’t deal with me when I’m not my ‘usual’ jovial self. If I come to class and I’m a bit quieter than usual, not talking a lot, or I’m not laughing at stuff. Everybody assumes there’s something wrong. That I’m sick or depressed or something. Look, even if I am depressed or whatever, don’t I deserve an off day? Do I have to be the, me YOU want all the time? Can I just be me? I can’t seem to get people to understand that this is just another side of me. Do I have to be just loud? Can I not be quiet too? I hardly am but still…

Anyway, so there’s the question. Should a person be only one kind of person? Or can they change?

I asked it in another way on twitter… if you met me in real life and on that day, I wasn’t as ‘chatty’ as I am online. Would you feel cheated?

Help me out here. Let’s start this discussion. I really want to know what you guys think.



9 thoughts on “Mood swings and Emotional see-saws

  1. Selasi Ahema Tsegah (@surabbie) says:

    I think a person can have many different sides to them. You don’t have to be one kind of person. For instance, outside of family and really close friends i’m predominantly quiet, reserved and sometimes referred to as “arrogant, wierd and sassy” But when i’m with family and friends I’m loud and funny and goofy. I have so many different sides of me. It’s such that I even get confused sometimes. Just be who you want to be at whatever time. You’re perfect as you, trust me i know. God “designed” each of us. 🙂

  2. Sanchez says:

    Well the short answer to your question is “yes, you are allowed to be more than one kind of person”.

    Now for some depth. Thing is, everybody is multi-dimensional. They are a mix of personalities; choleric, sanguine, melancholic and phlegmatic. Though one personality trait usually dominates, the others tend to rear their heads on occasion.

    So why do people always feel that you should be the bubbly Rowie and not the introspective Amowi? It’s what they are used to. And once people get used to something, any deviation from that is an abnormality.

    This varies according to how ‘well’ these people know you. So if someone on your Twitterfeed met you fir the first time in a mood, they might not recognize you/ feel cheated. But friends and family probably know this side of you and know how to respond better. (tbh mine don’t, but maybe you’re lucky :-P)

    Ok, I’m talking chaw so I’m done. Most important thing about all of this is the lesson you’ve already learnt. Learn more about yourself & be comfortable with who you are. Then it doesn’t matter whether people don’t liked the “you” that they see, because the 2 most important people already do (God and you) 🙂

    Warning: No proof for any of the things I have written except a strong sense that I’m right. And I’m choleric so I HAVE to be right.

  3. Nii Mantse (@JahKid_14) says:

    You can’t please everyone. Please yourself and let everyone deal with it. I am fun when I want to and moody when I want to. NOboDY’s opinion of my mood matters. When you’re excessively and irrelevantly loud (which is 95% of the time :p) it’s annoying. But will you stop cos I (or a few other people) feel that way? I don’t think you would or should.

  4. okundayorOkundayor says:

    Us melancholics don’t have it easy ooo…even though every human being is multidimensional like Sanchez said, melancholics have that in an exponential degree. We are the ones who normally get schizo and MPD, lol… Anyway, a person cannot just be “one way”. Our actions and outward appearance is always dependent on the combination of situations and experiences we go through at certain points in time. All of these different reactions in different times make us who we are, uniquely. So you are a sang-mel (sanguine melancholic), but your “moods” make you different from any other sang-mel out there. Sweetie, be you, have fun with that, and people will have to learn to not feel cheated when you quiet down 😀

  5. Kezia says:

    i think we are made up of different parts. depending on our temperaments, experiences, memories and environment, we act a certain way in certain places at certain times. for eg. i compartmentalize my friends. ive always done this, probably always will. and each group of friends sees me differently, because i act differently with each of them. its part of what make me, me. and its not subject to change.
    Nobody is one person, all day,everyday. (especially not a melancholic) and that is perfectly normal.
    p.s im a melancholic too!! (choleric-mel to be exact)
    p.p.s -if i was meeting you for the first time, and you werent your usual gregarious self, i would probably think something was wrong. (even if you told me nothing was.)

  6. Sanchez says:

    @ Kezia Ah, another chol-ancholic !! I thought we were a rare breed.

    Random: btw, why is it only (mostly or partly) melancholic people are commenting on this. The phlegmatic’s too “sey what for der”?

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