When words are not enough, I cry.
Those times when there is no word deep enough to describe the hurt and pain,
and the general feeling of frustration and helplessness.
The times when it’s like all I do is talk and talk but no one is listening,
or if they are, when no one gets me.
When I’m arguing with you, and I’m losing.
When my words are misunderstood, I cry.
When words are not enough, I laugh.
Sometimes I laugh so hard, no sound is necessary
because the joy and merriment is clearly etched on my face.
And there is something more than just happiness in my eyes,
And in the way my body shakes with the ripples of my laugh.
I laugh, and once again, I am 5 and 10 and 16 and I’m innocent.
When I can’t tell the joke with words, I laugh.
When words are not enough, I scream.
Yes, I go outside and shout,
or lock myself in a bathroom stall and just let it out.
All the anger comes out in garbled nonsense.
The words cannot relate but maybe the sounds will suffice.
The groans and almost inhuman guttural sounds will tell it.
When words are not enough, words are not used.
When words are not enough, I dance.
Because dancing is one of my favorite means of expression.
Because dancing frees my mind so my body does the thinking.
Or I’m no longer thinking? I don’t care. My mind is not here.
So my hands do the talking and my feet do the work.
When words cannot express, dancing will do the rest.
Anyone who knows me will tell you I talk a lot. But there are times when it’s like I have said all there is to say and written all there is to write with no results and In those cases, “when words are not enough”, I turn to other things. I wrote this on one of those days. But I think this time, the writing helped, as it usually does and I didn’t need to call on my other ‘helpers’ 🙂